


Pretending to Be Human

by junko



Category: Gangsta. (Manga)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-04 01:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5314451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junko/pseuds/junko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex always said she remembered Nicolas from some time... before.  Could this have been that moment?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretending to Be Human

**Author's Note:**

  * For [furiosity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/furiosity/gifts).



> The timing of this piece was hard. Because I ended up really wanting a past interaction with Nic (because I've always wondered how Nic and Alex could have met before), I tried to jigger this into known timelines. I may have failed somewhat. It's hard since we know almost nothing about when Veronica was in the Benriya's lives and who she was to them, really, when she got sick, and all that. 
> 
> This piece also requires the reader to be up on the current chapters of Gangsta. It only makes sense in the context of what we now know about Erica's kidnapping.

As an eight-year old, Alex felt she understood a lot about the world. But, when Papa told her to get herself and Emilio ready to go off to an Anti-Twilight protest, she realized she didn’t even know what a Twilight was much less why anyone would be against them.

As they walked along the cobblestone streets toward the wall that divided East Gate from Ergastulum, she asked Papa about it. “What’s a Twilight?” she asked shyly.

“I suppose you should know,” Papa said. “Sometimes people call them Tags because of the military-style dog tags they wear. They’re bad,” he explained. But, the rest of what he said made no sense to Alex--that Twilights were a thing left over from a long ago war. He made Twilights sound like some kind of weapon that should be disposed of, like a field of unexploded landmines. “Yeah, landmines,” he snarled. “Landmines that breed like rabbits.”

Then, Papa spit on the ground, like he couldn’t contain the disgust he felt towards the Twilights.

She felt a little guilty about it, but Alex was happy to see Papa angry about something that had nothing to do with her or Emilio for once. Alex was glad she’d taken the effort to put on her favorite yellow sundress, even though she’d worn it so much that the hems were a little ragged and the weather was a touch chilly for the short sleeves. But, she felt so good knowing that Papa was focused on the Twilights that she started to open her mouth to risk asking Papa if he thought she looked nice today. But, before she could, Emilio tugged at her arm. “Look, Lexi, shaved ice.”

Food vendors had set up on the sidewalk opposite the huge, forbidding wall that seemed to stretch infinitely into the horizon. Alex knew from school that a dirty city was contained by that wall. It had an ugly name, too. Ergastulum. It sounded like something that could make you ill, and the teacher had told the classroom that criminals got sent to live inside Ergastulum. Now she wondered, “Do Twilights live there too?”

If Papa heard Alex, he didn’t answer. His attention was on the crowd gathering near the main gate. He was looking for someone. Meanwhile, Emilio pulled her in the other direction because not only was there shaved ice vendors, but a whole carnival of food trucks were setting up near the edges of the gathering crowd, like for some kind of festival. The air smelled of frying donuts, stewing broth, and roasting sweet potatoes. People carried hand-painted signs that said things like “No Government $ for Freaks” and “God Hates Tags.” Everyone seemed to be talking animatedly in small groups.

After waving to their neighbors Robert and Katherine, Papa passed Alex a few bills. “Get your brother some kakigōri. I’m going to talk to Robert, see what’s going on--when everything is supposed to start.”

Alex clutched her father’s fingers for a heartbeat longer than she needed to to take the money. She didn’t know why, but she hated the idea of them separating like this. 

Papa smiled kindly at her. “I’ll just be over there.” He pointed to the group that contained their neighbors, who waved when they saw them looking.

Alex couldn’t come up with an excuse to stay with him, especially with Emilio shouting, “Ice! Ice!” so, she let go of his hand and whispered, “I love you.”

“Silly girl,” Papa smiled, his teeth white against deep brown skin. He tousled her long hair like he did when she was younger. “I love you, too.”

Emilio dragged her away from the crowd toward the queue of people waiting at shaved ice stand. He hopped with excitement when he saw all his choices. “Sweet plum! No, I ‘ll get green tea. No… strawberry!”

It made her laugh to see Emilio so excited. 

She glanced behind her, keeping track of her father’s movement in the crowd. It was easy since his was one of the few black faces. But, for once, his was smiling broadly, clapping hands on shoulders; everyone united against a greater evil.

Maybe this was what Papa wanted: a little, pleasant outing for them. They’d been awfully cooped up the last few days and Papa’s mood was darkening again. It was that time of the year. The leaves were changing on the trees, which meant Papa would be thinking about Mama, twirling the gold band on his finger, sighing at the red maple leaves. By the time the first of the snow started to fall, he’d be dark and angry, drinking more and more every day, until he’d shout at them about how it was their fault Mama was dead. How, if only neither of them had been born, she’d still be alive.

On a nearby tree, one remaining yellowed leaf trembled in the wind. It hung on a thin, withered stalk. Alex watched as the leaf lost its struggle to stay, and was taken, tumbling, from the branch.

It didn’t make any sense, what Papa said. 

Emilio tugged her arm as the line inched forward. Alex smiled down at her sweet-faced little brother. It would be one thing if Papa blamed only Emilio, then she could understand that their mother died in childbirth. But, Papa cast the blame as equally on Alex as he did on her much younger brother. 

And, the angels. Papa always cursed the angels.

Alex didn’t remember doing anything to hurt her mom. In fact, she remembered them being happy. Though it was years since Mama had died, Alex swore she remembered things about her mother--a petite, wiry Asian woman in a bright white lab coat. She had to stand on tiptoes to kiss Papa goodbye as she went off to work every day. They’d lived in a nicer part of town then, a place with a lot more trees. Cherry trees. Mama said they reminded her of Grandma’s home.

A loud crack knocked Alex off her feet. An explosion? Her ears rang and she blinked, trying to figure out what had happened. She’d fallen down on all fours, her ears ringing. Her knees were scraped raw and the cobblestone seemed to dig into bone. She blinked back tears. The boom was followed by a thundering rumble of tumbling bricks. Someone pulled her to her feet as billows of smoky dust blinded her eyes and stung the back of her throat and nose. Alex clutched tighter on Emilio’s hand… only her fingers closed on empty space.

“Wait! Emilio? Where’s my brother?!” she shouted. “Papa?” But, her voice was lost to the chaos. 

The crowd surged forward, sweeping Alex up, carrying her along. She tried to fight against it, pushing against the crush of bodies. She called for Emilio, scanning faces desperately. Another boom sent bricks raining down, she felt a spatter of pebbles on her face and arm. Someone pushed forward, “Don’t stand there, girl. We’re under attack!”

Was this the Twilights, were they finally exploding, just like landmines? 

Rapid staccato sounds ripped through the air. Gunfire? More screams and people pushing. Through the press of bodies, Alex saw black military uniforms and submachine guns. She thought that it must be good that the army arrived, but people cringed away from the soldiers, muttering things like ‘filthy mercenaries’ in the same kind of way Papa had snarled ‘Twilights.’

“Run home,” someone begged her. “This is no place for a little girl.”

But, Alex shook her head determinedly, biting back her tears. She couldn’t go home. Not without Emilio. 

Finally managing to break from the crowd, Alex slipped into a narrow alleyway. The booms sounded more distant and Alex clutched the wall trying to figure out where she was, orient herself. She didn’t recognize this street. Fear made her whole body shake, but nothing would make her abandon Emilio. Thoughts of how scared and alone he must be feeling pushed Alex’s feet back in the direction of the sounds of fighting.

The militia deployed some kind of gas that hung low and sickly in the street. Covering her mouth, she made her way back towards the flavored ice stand, certain Emilio would still be there. He’d wanted that treat so badly. He would be there. He would!

Smoke cleared and Alex spotted Emilio. Just as she’d predicted, he was standing by the shattered shaved ice food truck, bawling his eyes out. A woman dressed in black army fatigues was crouched down next to him. Short haired, vaguely Asian, Alex thought the woman could be a doppelganger for their mother, which was probably why Emilio was letting her squeeze his shoulder. Alex would have thanked the woman, but something on her chest glinted.

Dog tags.

Alex took a breath to shout out to Emilio to run, but, suddenly, a hand clamped over her mouth.

Terrified, she fought against the solid, strong presence that gripped her tightly. But, his arms were like iron. She bit him, but he didn’t flinch. Instead, he spoke in a strange, dissonant voice, “ **vERonICa wON’t hURt hIM. i wOn’t LeT hER.** ”

_But what was that Veronica woman doing? What was she saying to Emilio? Why was she taking his hand?_ Alex lifted her foot and stomped down hard on whatever body part she could connect to. It didn’t faze him. Was he unfeeling? Some kind of robot? 

But as soon as Veronica started to lead Emilio away somewhere, the man did let go. Alex caught sight of the man as he moved past her. He was smaller than she would have guessed--all angles and sharp edges. His dark hair was short-cropped, almost spiky. Eyes dark with a sharp, focused gaze, like some kind of predator. The glance he gave Alex froze her in the spot.

And then he leaped. 

The movement was inhuman in its grace, and, somehow, he was able to clear the distance, and land in front of the woman he’d called Veronica. 

The woman pulled up sharply, clearly surprised to see him. “Fuck, Nic. What are you doing here?”

Instead of answering out loud, he made a series of gestures with his hands. Alex didn’t have to be an expert in sign language to tell that he was angry. 

“You can’t stop me,” Veronica said.

But he had, long enough for Alex to rush over and scoop Emilio up in her arms. Emilio was so happy to see Alex that he let go of the woman’s hand and wrapped his pudgy arms around Alex’s neck. She buried her face in his shoulder, sobbing in relief. Thank god. Thank god Emilio was okay. Thank god.

Veronica turned and glared down at Alex. Alex had thought that strange man, Nic, had an arresting gaze; this woman’s eyes shot ice cold daggers straight through Alex’s thundering heart. But, Veronica swung her steely gaze back at the man. She gave his chest a push and he stumbled backwards. As he did, his dog tags came into view.

Both of them were Tags? 

Didn’t that make them the Twilights Papa hated so much?

“Goddamn you,” Veronica snarled. She towered over Nic, her angry face up in his. “What the fuck are we going to tell Monroe now?”

Alex knew she should run, but these people, these Twilights, mesmerized her. They were so alien… but so much more…. beautiful than she’d expected. Their movements, even their scent was exotic and strange, but somehow captivating, as well.

Besides, even though all she wanted to do was get herself and Emilio home, Alex could sense there was something going on here, something she needed to see. She didn’t know anything about the Twilights, but Papa had made it sound like they were all evil. If that was true, why did it seem like Nic was trying to help her?

She glanced up at the two Twilights, they were still arguing, though, mostly, Veronica was swearing incoherently. As she continued to spit her venom, Nic made a series of gestures with his hands again.

“You want me to say we lost him? What the fuck is wrong with you? We have one job. One, Nicolas Brown! And you’re going to let him get away?”

He said nothing. They just stared at each other silently.

“You’re just delaying the inevitable. They’re both marked to become Destroyers,” Veronica pointed at where Alex and Emilio knelt at her feet. “If we don’t take them, someone else will.”

Alex felt stupid, but she glanced around expecting Veronica to be talking about someone else. It couldn’t be her. It couldn’t be Emilio. 

Nic signed something that seemed very final. He pointed to her and then to himself and shook his head. If Alex had to guess, he’d just said something to the effect of ‘you, not me.’

Whatever it was that Nic said, it made Veronica stand up straighter. Her shoulders lost their tension, but her tone was still cutting. “Oh, I see, you’re not part of this job, and so you’re not going to let me do my job either. That’s great. That’s just fucking great. I’m so glad you appointed yourself the guardian of my immortal soul, you self-righteous prick,” Veronica spat sarcastically. “Here’s a news flash: I don’t have one, and you’re not the fucking boss of me. Monroe is. And, he’s right about you, you know? You’re too soft. That little man-whore you hang with has poisoned you. You should just accept the truth. You and I, we’re not human.”

Nic’s expression softened. He opened his hands, as though for peace. “ **i knOW. bUT, iF yOU pREtenD tO bE dECenT, sOMetIMes yOU acCIdeNtAlLY aRe**.”

Veronica stared at Nic in disbelief for a second, and then she kneed him in the balls.

Or at least, she tried. He was fast, fast enough to shift ever so slightly--either that or he really was inhuman and felt nothing. 

Not getting a rise out of him seemed to infuriate Veronica. She took another swing at him. 

As he dodged it, Nic caught Alex’s eye. He didn’t have to speak for Alex to understand that she should pick up Emilio and run away with all her might. 

Adrenaline coursed through her, and Alex hardly noticed the weight of her brother in her arms and she felt like she could have run forever. She ran and ran and ran, running past soldiers and men who shouted after her, but she let no one stop her. She would get home. She and Emilio would be safe.

She told herself that when she got home she’d have to ask Papa what Veronica had meant that the two of them were ‘marked.’ 

Delaying the inevitable…

What did it mean?

If it was something they both were, was it the reason their Papa hated them both? Was being a ‘Destroyer’ the thing that had caused their mother to die? It didn’t sound good, ‘Destroyer.’ She’d have to ask Papa what that meant, too. She’d ask him as soon as he got home.

Alex waited for two days. Two days she held on to her questions.

But Papa never came.


End file.
